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You may want to think and act like a 25-year-old, but your seasoning tells another tale and may actually improve the chances for success. Without the pressures of getting married and having children, you can enter into relationships for the “right” reasons, not because you are running out of fertile years. Men and women in their 40s and 50s are generally more self-assured. You are, therefore, more likely to depend on yourself, not your partner, to solve your own dilemmas. You have learned from your previous relationship experiences. The following are some common sense dating principles that apply across the generations.
The truth is that dating does change when you get older…and, in many ways, for the better. They know what they want out of a relationship, what they are looking for in a mate and are not afraid to ask for it. You can take inventory of what time has taught you so that you do not fall into old traps. You can put away the “list” of perfect characteristics that you are seeking in your date. Not every aspect of your romantic life feels critical.
This question could reflect nothing more than curiosity.
But many use the answer as a way to weed out potential dates.
Don’t assume you and your partner see things in the same way or that your partner can read your mind. Moments will arise when your judgment about your partner will be put to the test. Like you, your partner is imperfect and deserves the benefit of the doubt. Keep in mind that a good relationship is based on each person’s ability to be supportive of those differences.
It is not possible that your “I” and your partner’s “I” will be perfectly compatible.
Rather than dip your toe in the water and give up because you’re intimidated, I highly encourage you to check out Finding the One Online, in which I hold your hand through the entire online dating process, from getting over your fears, to choosing a website, to writing a profile, to flirting with men and so on.
Whether you are engaging in online dating or joining a group where you will meet people with similar interests, don’t wait for something to happen. Seek out people who interest you, with eye contact, a smile or a simple “hello” rather than waiting for them to choose you. Don’t waste time with people who don’t treat you well. Even if you are not interested, be kind and respectful to people who show an interest in you. Try to see your potential partner as a whole person, recognizing the things you find endearing as well as the ones you see as negative. You are beyond the confusion of your 20s and 30s and have clarified many of your major life values. Author of the recently released book, “Who Am I Without My Partner?
Recognize the power you have to be successful in your dating pursuits and use it. Not everything your date says or does will sit well with you. Take ownership of what is yours and communicate it honestly and directly. Those of you in your 40s and 50s are in a wonderful period of your lives.
A previous marriage, no matter how short, is the relationship equivalent of earning a college degree. Having been married doesn’t mean you’re any better or worse at relationships than someone who’s never tied the knot.
If you’ve been married before, the theory goes, you must have the ability to commit. On its own, the word “divorced” conveys only two things: 1) that the person was, at some point, united with another person in a legally sanctioned arrangement; and 2) it ended, and not because one of the partners died.